(semi) bad ideas

ali and i have a weird relationship. we're less omg!bff/homeskillets and more like semi-exclusive members of a support group for surviving terminal boredom.

when i text her up after weeks of a calm and steady silence between us, she usually responds quite nice and cordially. i made a list of things she might really be thinking:

1. oh shit!
2. he's texting me
3. we're going to have one of those weird hang out things
4. will this involve cops (again)?
5. cops are kinda good looking...
6. i love a man in uniform
7. i'll text him back

i realize that these rather candid insight into what ali may or may not be thinking may lead you to believe that ali and i are common criminals.
far from it. we leave the dealin, wheelin', and shoplifting to people with "real" lives (and "real" heroin habits). we're just out to enjoy the city.

the first problem that we always run into, however, is that we don't live in a city. oregon really doesn't have any cities, save portland, which is so chock of hipster cred that its about to break free and float down the columbia until it reaches weedlegal international waters. in our little friendly college town, the most funnest thing to do is trip people... which can be kind of fun.

a recent battle in the war against our small-town boredom found us half naked in a 7-11 making small-talk with the help at midnight.
you see, in our zeal to find a place to swim, we had been driving about the city with some friends, sketching out.

the accessible location that we settled on was an outdoor pool in southtown, and we were freezing by the time we made our convenience store stop. naturally, we headed directly to the next hotel, with high hope of finding an indoor pool.

unfortunately, while trying to pick the pool door lock with a bi-mart card, we were discovered by a hotel employee. no one seems to understand. everyone always wants to cal the cops. that's ok with ali, though. she's into them.

oh, and...














this post made me laugh uproariously.